Listen to your body…

I have been experiencing a bit of discomfort from my hip since I did a TRE session (Trauma Release Exercise) back in October.  And for the second time since then I took “Le grand dictionnaire des malaises et maladies” by  Jacques Martel out and checked for  what my body is trying to tell me.

Hips represent your ability or desire to move forward. Painful hips occur when you start questioning the why and how of things.  You wonder if you have the right to live for yourself or if you have to continue living for everybody like you’ve always been.  There is a link between this pain in moving forward and the sense of autonomy, independence. My body is trying to tell me that I have a certain stiffness, resistance and rigidity toward a situation or person, because I felt betrayed or abandoned.

I just couldn’t grasp it the first time I read it.  I was in disbelief that I, Chantal, would be having an issue with moving forward in my preferred future. After all, that’s what I help people do, for a living. Since then, life has been showing me a few things that bring evidence to what I cited above.  I have finally decided to get information on what is PTSD and its impact on me, my kids, my relationship because I had enough of living for my family, putting their needs up front all the time, and many times putting my dreams on the back burner.  A little bit frustrating for someone like me.  I like to pursue new ventures and feel free.  But now I feel like I have to tiptoe my way to it.  I feel abandoned because this relationship use to be about team work and spirit, and it’s nothing like that anymore.  This weekend I became aware that independance to me is being in a “do-it yourself” mode because when you’re independent you can’t rely on anyone. Is this really true? No.  You can be independent and co-operate with others to bring forth your dreams.

Is my body talking to me louder than I would like?  Well…  I know it could be worse, I could have a broken hip instead of a painful one.  So, now what… what can I do about this?  I started seeing a physiotherapist; have taken a different approach with my personal life coach; have seek advice from my fitness coach on what muscles I can work to get better; have been doing Tong Ren for it, have been in contact with someone that offers support to spouses of military or ex-military that are living in a relationship affected by PTSD; I’m reading more on PTSD and its effects and this new understanding is allowing me to be gentle with me, the kids and my spouse.

I think I’m on the right track…  and I’m positive that the future will confirm it.

Longing For The Past

Last night, the dog was whining so much that I couldn’t sleep. D#*@> dog! He’s not a young dog so he doesn’t have this excuse running for him. He has been sleeping in a cage for a few weeks now because the kids don’t want to sleep with him anymore since he started growling at them when they move in their sleep, and it wakes them up. And when we left him lose during the night he would pee in a few spots.  A highly annoying fact to wake up to…

So last night he was whining because our daughter had some friends over for a sleep-over and he wanted to be with them. I imagine  that in his dog mind he thought of all those human bodies he could cuddle up to and how lovely it would be.  The problem is they didn’t want him there.  So all night he was longing to be in a situation he can’t experience anymore.  And of course he doesn’t understand that.  Just like we don’t understand that most of the time the situation we are longing for is not available anymore for us to experience.  Not matter how much we long for it it won’t be the way it used to be. Period.

I could be spending hours crying or mourning the relationship I used to have with my husband before his PTSD.  Will it bring it back?  Will he be magically touched by a magic wand and brought back to the way he was when we were living “the life”? No. What can I do then?  Live and enjoy the present moment. Enjoy the good moments I spend with him when he is present the way I like him to be.  And the other times, when he is caught in his own whirlwind, when he is stressed out, I back off.  I send him lots of love and continue doing my own thing. I could go back in my mind to the “good old days” and get all nostalgic, and I’ve done it often enough, but I became aware that it wasn’t helpful, that it was bringing me down.  What’s the use then? He’s stressed, I’m down and the kids are upset. It’s a lose-lose situation.  When I acknowledge where he is and continue doing my stuff, I’m happy, I’m in a responsive mode if I need to be, not a reactive one, and my household is more at peace.  Much easier to live that way, in my books.

Accepting what is… a magic key for many life experiences…

My Mastermind Group

I’m coming back from a Mastermind Group meeting and I’m energized!  I’ve been with the majority of the members of this group for a year and a half and since the beginning there has been a good synergy.

Why did we choose to get together in the first place?  We started to know one another in a book study Mastermind group I was offering around the classic “Think and Grow Rich”  by Napoleon Hill.  And many of the members of the group had the same reasons for being part of it, namely being surrounded by like-minded people in a positive and supportive environment, learning new ways of thinking, and becoming aware of what sets apart people that grow rich from the rest of us.

Once this book study was done we started another one, then a group coaching on “Goal Achiever” by Bob Proctor, and a few more book studies, until I suggested to stop theorizing and to be in action.  We have decided to work on a web presence for each of us to share with the world our unique gifts.

And tonight as we were sharing our latest advancement on our journey, I noted how we were firing away suggestions and encouragement to one another, building up an idea brought forth by a member to something bigger, exciting and almost tangible .  In “Think and Grow Rich” Napoleon Hill says that there is something magical that happens when 2 or more people are gathered with a common goal in mind in that ideas start flowing in a way that would never have been possible if each individual had decided to work alone.  It’s like if a separate mind was created from the presence of all in attendance. Many people are familiar with that concept in brainstorming sessions.  Now imagine being in a brainstorming session each week with group of people working passionately on a project and sharing their findings, hurdles, resources, successes with the others.  It’s amazing!

To set your own group I suggest that you check out the book “Meet and Grow Rich – How to Easily Create and Operate Your Own Mastermind Group for Health, Wealth, and More” by Joe Vitale and Bill Hibbler.  They give you an overview of what a Mastermind is, how to get it started, how to run a meeting etc…  I used it to set the ground rules for this group’s latest purpose.  It was reassuring to everyone to know that certain rules were layed regarding intellectual property, accountability, behaviours that could lead to exclusion, for example.  Although we are all coming to this group in a mindset of creation and not competition it’s still comforting to know there are boundaries.

If they wouldn’t be on this journey with me, I know for sure that it would be a much slower ride.  It’s great to be empowered and supported by a Mastermind Group!

Life as a game

I’ve been asked for my opinion about something a friend of mine is going through and I know enough now to not go into this.  So I gently answered that my opinion didn’t really matter because I was an observer of her game and not a player involved.

Just like when you’re watching a hockey game and you’re yelling at the players because they are not doing what you think would be a better play. Really, your opinion doesn’t matter because you’re not involved. You’re not even on the ice!  What can you do about it?  You could be speculating forever and seeing the better options, and it still wouldn’t change a thing because you’re an outsider and you are not in the action.

There are always a minimum of 2 options for any given situation and more often then not, millions of possibilities.  How you think, feel, act or react can change the outcome in so many variations… Just like any game.  So really, what would my opinion change?  Nothing. I wasn’t a player and I wasn’t even present at the game!  What can I do to support the person now is a better question to ask.

I’ve adopted that line of thought for a few years now that life is a game and that I can decide to play it whatever way I choose, knowing that I have to be ready to assume the repercussions of my decisions. And I like it.  I like to play and have fun so this philosophy fits me.  For now at least.

Happiness, Love and Acceptance

I’ve been reflecting on the impact of love lately.  It seems that a lot of what I read as something about this.  And since there is no such thing as luck or coincidence, it’s prompting me to consider how to open up and see the difference love will make in my life.

I can say  happiness has been my lifelong quest.  As far as I can remember I have been saying that happiness was my main goal in life.  And it took a long time to get there.  Writing these words, something comes up saying Love has been a leading force.  And is that ever true!  Every time I’ve felt love I’ve followed the path love was on.  Be it an experience, a job, a relationship.  It seems that love and happiness have always been connected in my mind, almost in an exclusive way.  Nothing else could bring as much happiness as love.

And last year I became aware of the “I Love You” concept listening to a book by Joe Vitale and I. Hew Len, Zero Limits, where they explain the power of loving everyone and every situation around us.  I had to experiment with it!

If I agree to the concept that I am vibration, that I emit and receive vibrations, it makes sense that when I consciously choose to emit a love vibration toward someone or a situation that I am changing what is outside of me and what is inside of me.  So I tried it. When I was confronted to people who were unhappy or angry, I was thinking “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you” as long as I wasn’t noticing a shift in their emotion and it rarely took more than 2 minutes before it happened.  How wonderful!

And that’s because when we feel loved, we feel accepted for who we are. Accepting who we are, accepting the other person, with our qualities and weaknesses, accepting the situation as it is, is love in action.

Love isn’t just a concept and an emotion, it also an action.

Lately, I had pushed aside the action part of love and things were getting tough and bizarre in many areas of my life. I was resisting, refusing to accept me, my situation and the people around me. I was stuck. And then I found a book with a reminder of the importance of love.  I’ve put it back into action and things are better!  It’s magical!  The book? The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.

Now it’s clear that happiness, love and acceptance are all interconnected, in my mind.

How about you?

The Knots Prayer

Someone sent me this prayer today, and it touched me.

Life has ways to reach to me when I’m going through grey times that continuously amaze me.  I’m so grateful!

Here it is:

The Knots Prayer

Dear God :

Please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life,

remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots,

might nots that may find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and

should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,

Dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind,

my heart and my life all of the ‘am nots’

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.


Author Known to God

Pushing my limits

This past weekend I went to TreeGo with my family and some of my kids’ friends.  I was really enthused and looking forward to the experience.  I like trying new things. We’ve seen people crossing the water on a zip line over water next to our sailboat and it looked pretty exciting.  Plus my son had gone with the cadets last year and he was talking about it since.  We called, reserved and were told to have sneakers on.  That’s it!  Pretty easy!

We were 7 and we had a range of reactions by the end of it that went from “I didn’t really like it” to “I want to do it again”. It wasn’t a consensus. Just like real life and the challenges we face as groups. The four hours it took us to do the 4 courses where an open door to view how people face challenges and new adventures.  I observed caution, being pushed, being ridiculed, bragging, concentration, pushing the limits, trying to see the best, seeing the impossibility, being excited, being discouraged, taking one step at a time, wanting to be at the end of the next challenge before starting it.

As I was observing the others, I was also observing me.  And I saw once more that I like to take my time, I hate feeling rushed, I’d rather do it without being observed, I want to figure it out by myself most of the time, but when I’m faced with a challenge that seems too big for me I’m willing to listen and take in another person’s experience especially if I see this person as someone with a lot of experience in this field, I like to be encouraged when I’m discouraged, I can focus and trust my abilities.

At the end of it, I felt like if I had been pushing my limits, both physical and mental for half of the time.  I was exhausted and I still pushed myself to continue because I had been told that the last part was the best part.  Well the best part was very short in my mind’s eye, just like when you focus on the prize and forget to enjoy the journey. I’m the one who said “I didn’t really like it” and that’s probably because I was dehydrated and hungry, pushing my body too much for something I didn’t really perceive like a real achievement, and had not check out what kind of adventure I was embarking on.

The outcome for me: I’ve been confirmed again in my strength and my ability to push my limits.  Now I have to remember to enjoy the ride all the way there.

Life is good!

What is YOUR Definition of Success?

I was just reading a blog post on BizLaunch and it inspired me to write this post on Success.  It’s a subject that I coach people on and it’s always surprising to hear the answers.  Usually, we first start by giving a definition of what we think success should be according to how we have been raised.

  • Having enough money
  • Having a successful business
  • Having an expensive car and house in the most prestigious neighbourhood of your city
  • Being a CEO or top executive in the company you work for
  • Being the best mom or dad you can be to your children
  • Being a World Champion in your sport
  • Winning a Nobel Prize
  • Being a world leader in your field of expertise
  • Being a community leader
  • Having a business and having fun while sharing your passion

When I looked in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, success has 3 meaning:  degree or measure of succeeding; the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence; favorable or desired outcome.  I like when I can to find the root of the word to see what the original meaning was, and in this case success comes from the Latin word successus which means an outcome.

As many people my definition of success was related to money, until I started my journey in the personal development world.  I now know that we evolve in many areas at the same time: personal, professional, relationships, spiritual, physical (body), and financial.  If I privilege only one of these areas, can I say that I am really successful?  For example I can have a very successful business, make very good money with it, but I have been divorced 3 times, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a stiff back.  To what extent am I successful?  I have privileged 2 areas out of six and as a result I really don’t feel that successful, I feel my life is empty.  How can this be? I fit in the criterias I thought represented success in my world!

Let’s come back to the definition of success:  an outcome.  What is your preferred outcome, your ideal?  What if you started shaping your life according to that ideal or outcome?  Remember to have as many of the 6 areas as possible in your vision, and you will have a feeling of overall satisfaction when you look at your life.

I have learned this definition of success in Success Puzzle a program created by Bob Proctor: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal”.  It has changed my whole perspective on what is success to ME, the most important person in my life.

Start your own reflection on what YOUR definition of success is, and share it by leaving a comment!

Growing and our Comfort Zone

I received an email with a quote today from Paul Martinelli and it said “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone”.  Thank you for the reminder Paul!  I have been out of my comfort zone for a few years now, since I decided to become a LifeSuccess Consultant.  And today I needed to be reminded that I am growing, that’s why I feel uneasy about my next steps.

I have been asked to start working on a few projects, completely out of my league, but amazingly in line with where I’m going.  And I’m having one of those moments when you ask looking up in the sky “How am I suppose to do that?” and then I hear Bob Proctor saying “You don’t know how, it’s going to be shown to you.”  Ever since I have heard that sentence by Bob Proctor in the movie The Secret, it has triggered my letting go and trusting that Life is good.  Every time that I have embraced an opportunity and trusted that I would know how on the way, it did happen.  Have I grown?  Definitely!  Am I better?  In a few areas I am…  I am not perfect, and no one is on this planet, since we’re all here to learn and grow.  Do I have a greater confidence in my abilities?  Absolutely!

I use to be paralysed by indecision: I didn’t want to be out there in a danger zone.  The mass consciousness of fear was very prevalent in my life.  I took on a challenge only if I knew I could succeed and I was encouraged by others.  Not anymore.  I make my own decisions, according to where I’m heading, and then sometimes discuss it.  I have the tendency to give a challenge everything I got. I think that’s how I grow and keep myself out of my comfort zone.

This weekend, I got a proof that I am leading by example. My 15 year old son was commenting that too many of his school mates didn’t like getting out there, out of their comfort zone.  I asked more details, to see if we were talking about the same thing, and was I surprised!  I love those moments when I get a sign that I did a good job, so far, at being a parent.  He was telling me that he thinks they don’t like to try new things or to take risks and that they are not living fully their youth. Sad…

His final comment was:  I don’t like being in a comfort zone, it’s boring.

Keep growing and thinking like that!

Your body and its messages

Today I was trying to get someone to understand that his knee problem he has been dragging on for over 6 months probably means more than just a sore knee.  And he was virulently refusing to hear what I was saying because it would mean he had to look within for the cause.

I have known for many years that when I have a physical symptom it’s a message.  Nothing happens by accident or coincidence, there is always an explanation.  Humans operate on 3 levels at the same time: Spirit, Mind and Body.  When we refuse to listen to our Spirit or to our Mind, which makes us aware of what’s going on through our emotions or thoughts, and the message is important and should be heard, we then start having signs in the physical world and they keep getting closer to us until they become a part of us, by being inside of us.

A few books have been written on the subject and I have 2, in french.  I love them because they offer an “in-sight“ to what my body is trying to tell me, since I wasn’t paying attention to my mind or my spirit.

For this person’s knee problem, I went to check in ’Le grand dictionnaire des malaises et des maladies’ by Jacques Martel and here is what it said briefly:  the knees represent my degree of flexibility, persistence and indecision. And then, depending what part of the knee is touched, the explanation as to the meaning varies.  I know in the case of this person that he is facing a decision regarding his retirement. He doesn’t know if he really wants to retire full-time, part-time, when and how he should do it, etc…  He is at this crossroad and it’s not easy…  Obviously his body is not finding it easy either…

I believe that listening to our body and its message allows us to live a fuller, brighter and healthier life. Try it, you will be convinced!

I found 2 books in english on Amazon that could be helpful:

Heal Your Body A-Z by Louise Hay

Healing Happens with Your Help by Carol Ritberger