Today I went to the mailbox and I had a surprise:  a package from Amazon.ca.  I started searching in mind to remember if I had ordered anything last week.  No.  Then it must be a surprise!!!  I was very impatient to open it, just like a kid at Christmas.  I parked the car and opened it right then and there.  I couldn’t wait to be inside, even though it was raining outside.  And it was the movie “What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole” and a book giving more details on the subjects covered in the movie.

A-MA-ZING!

I have been thinking about that movie for a few weeks now, wishing I would have it.  I have made a presentation at Toastmasters on Neuroplasticity and I was wishing I would have had the movie to show the audience the formation of connections in the brain and the way they stop connecting when we stop being involved with a certain kind of situation.  Although it’s been over 3 years I have seen it, many parts of it come up in my mind when I’m trying to explain a concept, just like when I was trying to give a visual to my audience about the neurons connecting.  And, here it is…  I’m so grateful!

As I sat down to write this post, I started thinking about the Universal Laws and which ones were in action right now in my life.  The first one I thought of was the Law of Receiving, then the Law of Gratitude, and the Law of Attraction.

Many people have heard of the Law of Attraction with the movie “The Secret”, and I wish there would be more awareness created about the other Universal Laws, or Laws of Nature as they are sometimes called.  I have gained soooo much from studying them.  It gave me a deeper understanding of life and a sense of peacefulness.  I’m not done studying them,  I don’t think it’s possible to be, since every circumstance, every event brings a new perspective on at least one of them.

The Law of Receiving explains the process behind the receiving.  To be receiving you have first been giving, in a thoughtful and intelligent manner, then you have been taking action to make sure that you will be ready to receive gratefully when your highest good is ready to materialize in your life.  And what are you to give?  You are to give gladly of yourself, your interest, energy, thought, ability, love, appreciation and helpfulness.  You are to organize your life to be able to make a full and proper use of your talents and energies, to make sure you are providing a good foundation to build upon or receive your good.

If we take the example of the gardener that prepares the ground in prevision of harvesting some goods in the fall, once she plants her seed is she done?  No. If she doesn’t tend to her garden, pretty soon it will be invaded by weeds and the plant will not have enough space and light to grow.  She needs to use intelligently her energy and talent to make sure everything will be in place for a bountiful harvest.

Would you say it’s the same for many situations in our lives?  The relationships with our soulmate, kids, friends, collegues, boss; our career, our physical body, our health, our property, etc…  When we think about it,  if we give all aspect of our life the best of our abilities and energy, it make sense that we will be receiving more from life in general.

Am I still giving the best of me in this friendship?  Definitely.  And that’s probably why I received this gift from an amazing friend.

Thank you Jacques!

I received an email with a quote today from Paul Martinelli and it said “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone”.  Thank you for the reminder Paul!  I have been out of my comfort zone for a few years now, since I decided to become a LifeSuccess Consultant.  And today I needed to be reminded that I am growing, that’s why I feel uneasy about my next steps.

I have been asked to start working on a few projects, completely out of my league, but amazingly in line with where I’m going.  And I’m having one of those moments when you ask looking up in the sky “How am I suppose to do that?” and then I hear Bob Proctor saying “You don’t know how, it’s going to be shown to you.”  Ever since I have heard that sentence by Bob Proctor in the movie The Secret, it has triggered my letting go and trusting that Life is good.  Every time that I have embraced an opportunity and trusted that I would know how on the way, it did happen.  Have I grown?  Definitely!  Am I better?  In a few areas I am…  I am not perfect, and no one is on this planet, since we’re all here to learn and grow.  Do I have a greater confidence in my abilities?  Absolutely!

I use to be paralysed by indecision: I didn’t want to be out there in a danger zone.  The mass consciousness of fear was very prevalent in my life.  I took on a challenge only if I knew I could succeed and I was encouraged by others.  Not anymore.  I make my own decisions, according to where I’m heading, and then sometimes discuss it.  I have the tendency to give a challenge everything I got. I think that’s how I grow and keep myself out of my comfort zone.

This weekend, I got a proof that I am leading by example. My 15 year old son was commenting that too many of his school mates didn’t like getting out there, out of their comfort zone.  I asked more details, to see if we were talking about the same thing, and was I surprised!  I love those moments when I get a sign that I did a good job, so far, at being a parent.  He was telling me that he thinks they don’t like to try new things or to take risks and that they are not living fully their youth. Sad…

His final comment was:  I don’t like being in a comfort zone, it’s boring.

Keep growing and thinking like that!

Today I was trying to get someone to understand that his knee problem he has been dragging on for over 6 months probably means more than just a sore knee.  And he was virulently refusing to hear what I was saying because it would mean he had to look within for the cause.

I have known for many years that when I have a physical symptom it’s a message.  Nothing happens by accident or coincidence, there is always an explanation.  Humans operate on 3 levels at the same time: Spirit, Mind and Body.  When we refuse to listen to our Spirit or to our Mind, which makes us aware of what’s going on through our emotions or thoughts, and the message is important and should be heard, we then start having signs in the physical world and they keep getting closer to us until they become a part of us, by being inside of us.

A few books have been written on the subject and I have 2, in french.  I love them because they offer an “in-sight“ to what my body is trying to tell me, since I wasn’t paying attention to my mind or my spirit.

For this person’s knee problem, I went to check in ’Le grand dictionnaire des malaises et des maladies’ by Jacques Martel and here is what it said briefly:  the knees represent my degree of flexibility, persistence and indecision. And then, depending what part of the knee is touched, the explanation as to the meaning varies.  I know in the case of this person that he is facing a decision regarding his retirement. He doesn’t know if he really wants to retire full-time, part-time, when and how he should do it, etc…  He is at this crossroad and it’s not easy…  Obviously his body is not finding it easy either…

I believe that listening to our body and its message allows us to live a fuller, brighter and healthier life. Try it, you will be convinced!

I found 2 books in english on Amazon that could be helpful:

Heal Your Body A-Z by Louise Hay

Healing Happens with Your Help by Carol Ritberger

I have discovered Tong Ren Therapy last month at a free session given by Kathy Wilson from Healing Nexus based in Toronto, here in the Fredericton region.   I fell in love with this healing modality:  it’s easy, it’s quick, it’s efficient, it’s fun, and you’re not touching the person.  It can even be done over the phone.

What is it? You are working with energy or chi by activating certain points, according to the health issue of the person, on the meridians on a acupuncture doll.  The doll is the client’s surrogate.  Everything being energy in this universe, the power of an intention or a thought is demonstrated with this tool.  The client sometimes feel the energy being unblocked, or just becomes relax and warm.  I tried with different persons, most of them skeptics, and 80% of them felt something while I was doing it, and felt better afterwards.  Pretty good!  I even tried on the phone with my brother and at one point he asked if I was tapping on “his“ neck because he could feel something and I was!  Cool!

The gentleman at the origin of this therapy,Tom Tam is an acupuncturist who discovered this “by accident“ an evening he didn’t have any clean needles and a friend needed relief for her sciatic nerve.  Joking he drew a stick person on a sheet of paper and stuck needles in it, and 5 minutes after she started feeling a difference.  He then started trying this method and since has adopted it because he can help more people at once.  People with very critical illnesses and conditions such as cancer are being treated with Tong Ren and get amazing results.

I think it’s worth a try.

Today I had the privilege to hear Peter D. Clark, a New Brunswick storyteller share with school students a few stories excerpted from his 8 books collection of tales, stories and legends from New Brunswick. Kids and adults alike really enjoyed his stories.  Some of them were true stories as attested by adults in the audience that said they knew the people who were in the story.  Interesting.

Culture is really a reflection of life and Peter has done a tremendous job to document all those stories. His work reflects his passion to share what is and has been part of a province’s collective memory.  With our fast modern way of life we are not exposed as much as some other generations to the stories of our parents, grand parents and ancestors, which is part of the reason we feel so disconnected.  I believe that when we take time to reconnect with our roots we get a broader picture of who we are and where we came from in this intergeneration line and we get a feeling of being grounded, connected to this bigger web of life.

I really appreciated that he referred to the person who had shared the story with him and enjoyed his delivery style.  Among his true life stories he had some that where really recent like the one featuring Matt Stairs a baseball player originally from New Brunswick where I learned about this generous man’s actions here in his province.  He also scared, or might I say surprised, kids and adults alike when he told us the Dungarvon Whooper folktale.

At the end he was selling his books and I purchased “A Treasury of New Brunswick Art and Stories“ where I will read a story about Willie O’Ree, the first black hockey player in the NHL.  We have a arena named after this man in Fredericton NB. And of course some folklore tales.

Thank you Peter!

As a teenager I was totally revolted by judgments made by first impressions and what they lead to. My opinion was and still is that we make judgment on what we see first and then find the appropriate reasons and evidences to support this judgment, denying unconsciously any other new fact that would make us change our mind.  And I was proven right by many examples in Blink – The power of thinking without thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell.

Gladwell decided he had to look at the impact of first impressions after being in an argument with the police for 20 min.  He had decided to go from a short-clean-cut haircut to a long-hair style.  He said that at once he started to see changes in his life:  he started to get speeding tickets, getting pulled at security checks in airports and then one day he was pulled out by 3 police officers.  They thought they had found a rapist.  It took him 20 minutes to get out of that situation, caused by that large head of curly hair.  This was a trivial misunderstanding, but I’m sure you can think of visible minorities going through that all the time.

First impressions can be powerful and good, but they can also lead us into error and when we look back we wonder why we acted the way we did.

For example, a law professor in Chicago, Ian Ayres, did a research in the 90’s to find out:  “All other things being absolutely equal, how does skin color or gender affect the price that a sales man in a car dealership offers?  To do so he put a team of 38 people together, dressed them the same, they all had the same cover story and specific instructions for what to do. They visited 242 car dealerships. These were the results.

On average,

The white men received initial offers  that were 725$ above the dealer’s price;

The white women got offers of 935$ above;

The black women were  quoted on average 1195$;

And black men 1687$

Keep in mind that they all had the same story:  they were professionals with a college degree, they were systems analyst at a bank, all lived in the same neighborhood of Chicago, were dressed for success and bargained for approximately 40 minutes.

What do you think the reasons for these results are?  If you were to ask the salesman their beliefs on race and gender, they would argue that they apply an “equality for all“ code of conduct.  But yet facts are different. They have again and again done the same things: quoted higher prices to women and black persons.  And it would be so because of their unconscious beliefs about these groups.  Even in the face of the contradictory evidence of education, wealth and bargaining abilities they couldn’t change their actions.

To explain this difference between our conscious choices and our unconscious associations, researchers have put together a tool called the Implicit Association Test (IAT) that helps us identify what our unconscious response will be when we pair up two facts like male and family, female and career than male and career, female and family for example. It’s disturbing to see how easy it is to make associations between female and family and difficult to do the same for male and family.  The response time is much longer for the association we are less familiar with. Which would explain the lack of women in the higher ranks of corporations or government.

I encourage you to visit their website to find out what is your underlying system of belief in certain fields like racism, gender and career, obesity and thin persons. www.implicit.harvard.edu

Did you know that if you are tall you have better chances to climb up the corporate ladder?  Gladwell called about half of the corporations on the list of Fortune 500 to find that the CEOs on average are just below the 6 feet mark and a third of them are more than 6.2 or taller. Yet in the general American population only 3.9% are 6 foot 2 or taller.

Another study has shown that an inch of height is worth $789 a year in salary on average. That means that generally a person that is 6 feet tall will earn 5,525$ more per year than the person who is 5 foot 5 inches.

Really, first impressions and general ideas have a broader impact that we want to believe.

But there is hope! For us to change these unconscious patterns, we have to immerse ourselves within the ideas and circumstances we are trying change.  For example if you want to get rid of your leadership image associated with a tall male you can spend time with some tall incompetent male executives and with efficient women executives.  After a while you won’t have such a strong association of tall-male equals leadership.

Be aware of your underlying judgments and immerse yourself with new knowledge and experiences and you will have started a positive chain reaction.  That’s how we make changes in our lives but in society in general.