When my partner can’t accept…

When my partner, a friend, a colleague, my father can’t accept even a simple compliment I give him, as a simple sign of appreciation, I feel like my appreciation is not valued or appreciated.

If my partner can’t receive the attention I give her by doing things for her, making time to spend with him, compliments I give him, it means:

  • He can’t receive what I have to offer
  • She can’t receive who I am
  • I can’t feel unconditionally loved
  • I can’t open up
  • I can’t trust that I will be supported
  • I feel rejected for who I am – I’m like the little kid with slumped shoulders, head down, wondering what could be good enough to be loved for who he is. Simply loved.
  • I feel alone
  • I feel I have to do everything by myself – I can never rely on anyone, since no one really cares and loves me for who I am.
  • Separation – not receiving perpetuates the paradigm that we are all separate, that we require competing against one another, which creates aloneness.
  • What would it take to be able to receive and in turn create a nurturing, caring, creative, collaborative environment where I am free to be me and to be loved for who I am?

    Receiving – Easy or Hard?

    The past few weeks I have been on the lookout for signs on the Law of Receiving.  In a previous post I gave a bit of background on this Law, information that I learned in The 11 forgotten Laws and Raymond Holliwell’s book Working with the Law.

    When you start being aware of something, it’s like if it jumps in your face all the time. In the case of the Law of Receiving, I am becoming more and more aware that people’s ability to receive is weak.

    –  You offer a compliment and it’s rejected or diminished: “Oh, this old thing…” or  “I’m not that good” or “That’s not what my life partner says…”

    –  You want to pay the check at the restaurant and you have to get into a fight with the other person to finally get to pay.

    –  You are offering to help your host when you are invited for supper and it’s not accepted, even something as easy as washing the dishes after we are finished eating:  “No!  You’re not touching anything!  I will take care of that in the morning!”  Yet when you invite them they are the first at the sink doing the dishes…

    –  You are offering to share your knowledge for a specific problem and they answer:  “We don’t want to bother you with this.  You are so busy…”

    –  You are being offered a present and you answer in the case of a tangible gift “You shouldn’t have, I don’t deserve this.” or, in the case of an intangible gift, you simply refuse it by answering “No.”

    I want to take all the underlying reasons that could be at the origin of these actions.  I want to look at the result which is refusing the good that is offered to us.  We are willing to give but unwilling to receive.  We are simply stopping the flow because giving precedes receiving they say in the book and the program and they are the two sides of the same coin.  We are accepting to give and give and give but we are refusing to receive even the smallest token of appreciation for what we have given.

    We become better receiver when we become aware and understand that the two go hand in hand.  Many of us have been raised with the idea that it is better to give than to receive.  We are making a mistake in the understanding of this sentence.  We hear “than” when it’s really written “then”.  Let’s look at this sentence again with the correct word:  It is better to give then to receive.  What do you now understand?  Quite a shift, isn’t it?

    Please strengthen your receiving muscle and stop to think of your answer when you are offered something.  You will then be on your way to receive more and more from life.  Remember though, it takes time and practice…

    Have fun receiving!

    The Joy of Receiving

    Today I went to the mailbox and I had a surprise:  a package from Amazon.ca.  I started searching in mind to remember if I had ordered anything last week.  No.  Then it must be a surprise!!!  I was very impatient to open it, just like a kid at Christmas.  I parked the car and opened it right then and there.  I couldn’t wait to be inside, even though it was raining outside.  And it was the movie “What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole” and a book giving more details on the subjects covered in the movie.


    I have been thinking about that movie for a few weeks now, wishing I would have it.  I have made a presentation at Toastmasters on Neuroplasticity and I was wishing I would have had the movie to show the audience the formation of connections in the brain and the way they stop connecting when we stop being involved with a certain kind of situation.  Although it’s been over 3 years I have seen it, many parts of it come up in my mind when I’m trying to explain a concept, just like when I was trying to give a visual to my audience about the neurons connecting.  And, here it is…  I’m so grateful!

    As I sat down to write this post, I started thinking about the Universal Laws and which ones were in action right now in my life.  The first one I thought of was the Law of Receiving, then the Law of Gratitude, and the Law of Attraction.

    Many people have heard of the Law of Attraction with the movie “The Secret”, and I wish there would be more awareness created about the other Universal Laws, or Laws of Nature as they are sometimes called.  I have gained soooo much from studying them.  It gave me a deeper understanding of life and a sense of peacefulness.  I’m not done studying them,  I don’t think it’s possible to be, since every circumstance, every event brings a new perspective on at least one of them.

    The Law of Receiving explains the process behind the receiving.  To be receiving you have first been giving, in a thoughtful and intelligent manner, then you have been taking action to make sure that you will be ready to receive gratefully when your highest good is ready to materialize in your life.  And what are you to give?  You are to give gladly of yourself, your interest, energy, thought, ability, love, appreciation and helpfulness.  You are to organize your life to be able to make a full and proper use of your talents and energies, to make sure you are providing a good foundation to build upon or receive your good.

    If we take the example of the gardener that prepares the ground in prevision of harvesting some goods in the fall, once she plants her seed is she done?  No. If she doesn’t tend to her garden, pretty soon it will be invaded by weeds and the plant will not have enough space and light to grow.  She needs to use intelligently her energy and talent to make sure everything will be in place for a bountiful harvest.

    Would you say it’s the same for many situations in our lives?  The relationships with our soulmate, kids, friends, collegues, boss; our career, our physical body, our health, our property, etc…  When we think about it,  if we give all aspect of our life the best of our abilities and energy, it make sense that we will be receiving more from life in general.

    Am I still giving the best of me in this friendship?  Definitely.  And that’s probably why I received this gift from an amazing friend.

    Thank you Jacques!